Planning for the future

When the zombie apocalypse comes I need to know that you’re the kind of person who will put a bullet in my head if I turn. I know this is our first date but you don’t really know someone until you’ve shared survival stories. Do you agree?

Most people will tell you that talking about your exes is in poor taste. But, I think disaster response should be discussed more.

You should know I already hate the way you cut your meat and that there are times, even after swallowing, I spit my food during an excited conversation. Like now — sorry.

But, none of this will matter when the zombies come.

So what about you? Any angry exes thirsting for something other than love? The LAST thing I need is some crazy bitch out for my brains or intestines because of something YOU did

Would you pass the pepper, please?